When I attended No Code Conf, I met so many great people. In one way, I was ecstatic because I got to learn so many new things from them. However, it also gave me a wake-up call on how much I don't know about this fascinating world of product building. This experience is perhaps something that I couldn't have gained if I stayed in Indonesia, but whenever I remember the people I met in these conferences, I always felt like I'm losing out to them, and if you know me, you would know that I hate losing.

A tweet I found the night after. Coincidence?

To say that I feel extremely pressured because of that would be an understatement. I feel like I am missing so much in life by being in college. On one side, I was delighted to meet people that now have a special place in my heart, but letting go of the time when I was able to spend all time in my life on the things I love, building products, was something that I greatly missed.

I'm horrible at hiding my feelings. I know for a fact that I often blank out every once in awhile whenever I feel stressed. There are always so many thoughts that occupy my mind to the extent that I don't have enough brain space to pay attention to my surroundings.

I'm not someone that likes relying upon people, so things like these are usually something I took into my own hands. It's not always easy, but it works. However, this time, it's different. Someone actually tried to cheer me up, so that was cool :)

What are you grateful for in life?

As a debater, I've always had snappy answers to questions that were thrown at me. However, I was lost for words when someone asked me this.

Am I just ungrateful towards my surroundings? My circumstances? Or perhaps I'm too shy to admit that I am grateful for something. I don't know.

I'm writing this entry to draw the start line of a new journey I'm pursuing: a journey to question and find what I'm truly grateful for in my life.

To be honest, I don't know where to start looking, but to the girl who asked me this question, you know who you are, I am truly grateful for you.

- end of the beginning -